Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
