I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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