Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
