awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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