my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
