Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
