At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
