yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
