Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
