Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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