those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
