Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
