I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well I just put wine in my tea
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
