He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She needs sedatives and a leash
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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