R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize