First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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