You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
