i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
