the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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