Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize