You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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