bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize