Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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