I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
