Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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