There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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