Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Shame - the story of my life.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
