Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
did i just pee glitter
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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