Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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