how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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