I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
