if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
