Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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