I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
