Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
