She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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