the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
