I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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