Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
