Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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