At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize