My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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