I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
