Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
