Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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