did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
