I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
