Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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