im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
