That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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