Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
