so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
