Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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