I'm really into asian looking animals
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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