just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
