Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Less talking, more tequila
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
