And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
