Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
