Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
