I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
