I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
