Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
