everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
